July 29th, 2007
Just to update you – today (Sunday 29th July) I have an article in the Australian Sunday Herald Sun magazine, in Melbourne, and the Sydney Telegraph, titled "Desert Queen". Yep – don't laugh – I feel rather more peasant like than royalty when I am out there, but it makes for a fun title!
I was on the radio on BBC Radio Shropshire yesterday, which was fun. I was having a glass of red in front of the fire at the time – there have to be worse ways of doing an interview!
I was up in Sydney last week, and met with many of the Birkenstock retailers there. It was great to meet the people who are selling the shoes I wear – there were a lot of amused chuckles at the state of my old Birkenstocks.
I also met with the Dove team, and hope to be seeing more of them over the next few weeks. It is a great experience for me to meet with the people who enabled my walk to continue, and show them the images and stories from the walk. It also helps me to keep focussed on going back.
I have been mainly staying with my Mum, in central Melbourne, but have also been spending a lot of time up in the Dandenongs with friends. I enjoy so much walking through the hills and forest up here – although the temperature is a bit of a shock, the scenery is just stunning, and it is great to see kangaroos bouncing away as I walk in the early evening. Curling up in front of the fire with good red and a good book is another joy that I just can't get enough of at the moment; it seems such a long time since I could claim time for myself, and relax in solitude. I make the most of it, knowing it won't be forever.
I miss the desert. It is suprising how quickly I find myself at home back here, and whilst at first passionately grateful to be well, resting, and in a safe and friendly environment, it wasn't long before I began to feel impatient to return and finish this thing. I guess on some level it is quite difficult to really relax knowing that my camels are still out there, and half the desert still waits for me to walk across it. I set a goal to get to the other side and often I think I just cannot rest until that is done.
I look at my old shoes and think about wearing a second pair down; I think of how hard it was this time and what I can do next time to make it easier or more manageable. I reflect on how much I have learned through this last trek and of how much I have still to achieve and master; a big part of me is just itching to get back there and complete it, do it better than I did last time. I guess each trek teaches me knew things, and leaves me hungry to do more and more.
Friend and mentor Graeme Joy, the first Australian to ski to the North Pole, and the person who has been on the end of the phone during this last trek, has spoken to me a lot about maintaining focus and keeping an eye on the end goal. I guess at times it is difficult to remain determined to finish something; there is a tendency to think "oh no, here I am again", when confronted with issues of refinancing and re-equipping to go back. But I know he is right; although at times I toy with the idea of forgetting the rest of the Sahara and just walking across Australia, or something more manageable, I know deep down that it would always feel unfinished if I left it now. It is slightly daunting to think of both the financial practicalities – pitching for sponsorship all over again – and also of the physical realities – such as heading back into the horrid prickle country. The cultural isolation, physical exhaustion, and mental challenges of being out there for months on end are something I have come to realise never really get easier. But they are also an integral part of what I do, and offer incredible opportunities for growth and developement; I wouldn't swap the experience.
I find myself wanting to talk about the expedition a lot, this time; I have bored mates and family senseless, I think. But I have also come to realise that in some ways there are parts of the experience that just can't be shared; so often lately I seem to have been asked what was the hardest part, or when I felt scared. I guess people want to hear tales of guns and robbery, or thirst and near death. But the reality is that the most desperate times are by far the most mundane; when you just can't face another day plodding through prickles and dunes, or cooking more rice for a fussy guide, or facing another round of monotonous questions from nomads who find you as weird and wonderful as a peacock in Antarctica. There is nothing particularly dramatic about moments like those, but they are the nuts and bolts of what wears you down and drives you nuts. When it is really tough on a physical or dramatic level, you are too busy in it, handling it, to be worried or depressed by it. It is the mindnumbing grind of routine that can become tough and depressing, particularly on those really long 25 – 30 day hauls, when it simply feels as though you will never get there, and the km's pass horrifically slowly on the map.
Anyway – despite all of those things, I know that going back is what I want to do. In some ways I will never feel truly successful until I have crossed this thing – and that is what life is really about for us all, isn't it? To find that one thing that defines success for us – and then achieve it? Everyone has a different definition of what constitutes success, I think. And even though mine may seem a little unorthodox – in the end, it is what works for me.
Cheers.
July 5th, 2007
This has taken me a while to get to – sorry. I guess that when I am not walking it feels as though I have nothing important to say; but then the walk keeps going, just from a distance!
It has been wonderful to be back in Australia. Birkenstock began a publicity campaign before I returned, which has led to doing various media interviews (nothing mindblasting, never fear, just the local stuff) which has been a fun experience. After years of attempting to plug my walk it has almost been a shock to find people actually interested in it! Obviously from my perspective, anything that works for Birkenstock, Dove and Utopia works for me, since without these guys I would have neither a walk nor happy feet; and besides, I have had a load of fun. Yesterday I was on TV for the first time – a whole earth shattering 10 minutes on the Channel Ten David and Kim breakfast program in Melbourne, but it was a great experience and, once I got over a crippling case of nerves, a good time. Don't know that I am cut out for media stardom (imagine having to watch one's dietary intake – NEVER) but I can sure enjoy the ride whilst it is there.
News from Niger is not looking overly great; the rebellion has morphed into out and out violence between the "rebels" and military. But I am taking the view that for the time being, it is the summer, during which time the trade routes north are not used and nor is tourism at its peak. It will be interesting to see how much pressure is applied to alter the situation once the season commences and locals wish to get on with their usual trade and tourist businesses – rebellion has its place but not, I rather think, when it interferes with the economy. So we shall see. In the meantime I am staying in close contact and coming up with plan "B"s. Most of all I am glad of the rest, and still looking forward to returning to walk the Agadez – Bilma stretch – the part I have always looked forward to. Let's just hope that bombs have stopped going off by the time I want to return.
In the meantime I am absolutely loving being home. It is diabolically cold, yes – a shock after the heat – but that is more than compensated for by the awesome food, wine, and mates. On top of everything else the snow is falling in droves, so I am hoping to put skis on before I head back to the desert. My Mum is doing well, and I think is all the better for not receiving frantic sat phone calls from the desert!
I am working on putting together speaking presentations, which I am hugely enjoying. Obviously speaking is something most people wish I would do rather less of – but hey, it's fun for me. I am just so pathetically grateful to be back at the moment that there is little I don't take pleasure in. I find myself wandering down the street some days, looking about me in sheer wonderment at the quiet, calm prosperity; at all the people sitting contentedly in cafes, sipping a coffee and chatting to friends, smiling and happy and somehow peaceful in a way I had forgotten existed. Perhaps it is the relief of being somewhere I simply fit in; there is no need for people to stare at me, or approach me to talk, and the anonymity is a real joy after months of being the centre of attention wherever I went. It has also given me a greater appreciation of where I come from, something that happened last time I came back to Australia – the ease and friendliness of people here, and the incredible beauty of the landscape itself. I have been spending a bit of time up in the Dandenongs, a mountainous area just outside Melbourne. Going for a walk up there is the most incredible joy; towering eucalypts that smell sharp and rich, especially after rain, and long grassy rides leading to hilltops overlooking the lights of the city. At this time of year with the inclement weather there are often heavy purple clouds rolling across the sky in the late afternoon, so the sun shines golden through them as it is setting, and the city lights glow in welcome, all surrounded by lush rolling green hills. I sit up there on a rock and look out and feel so passionately grateful that I come from such a wild and beautiful country; I have missed those trees and the magnificent space of here so much on this leg. It is wonderful to be home.
I have also, after months of eating a LOT of goat, been just loving eating vast amounts of kangaroo meat. I used to eat it a bit but have developed a serious addiction to it on my return; sear it off on a hot pan fast, and eat it with kakadu plum sauce and maybe a bit of goats chees (ok there had to be goat somewhere) and I am telling you – heaven. I have steadily been ticking off my food addictions, sushi, blue cheese, red wine, GOOD chocolate, fresh green vegies; and although the pounds are piling on, the mental luxury of it is well worth it!
It feels great to be home this time. I get pangs of severe walk sickness sometimes; I find I can get depressed very easily if I don't make time to get out and walk regularly. And I am still waking with a jolt at "camel hour", about 4.30 in the morning. At times I can get really distressed when I can't hear the camels, or when I am confused as to my whereabouts; and I miss the stars above and the wind on my face. But there will be time again for that, and I know that in a few months, I will be lying in my swag shivering and wishing I didn't have to leap up and track wayward animals! So after I wake up now, I take a few minutes to luxuriate in the fact that I can roll over and go back to sleep, with no fire to make or guide to appease. But as much as I love it, I know I will equally love being back in my walk, and back in the desert; so I guess I am finally coming to realise that all of this is just a balance, that there is space for both places and both lives, in my world, and that for now, I still need both of them.
To all of you who still email me, I truly appreciate it. I wondered – since I am back here and walking – is there anything you would actually like to see photos of out here in Aust? I guess there are plenty of you who live overseas and have never been here – if there is something in particular you would like to see, let me know, and I will get a picture.
Cheers and I promise to write more regularly.